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Current Rants Past Rants Associated Tomfoolery The Suspects Worship Goes Here About the Ranter 383 |
Date: September 14,
2002
Currently Thinking Friday is a good thing. The number 13 is a bad thing. They must have cancelled each other out. Philosophy of the Day No man is an island. He is a raft built from hard work and determination. He also comes apart just as easily when struck with an axe. Current Celebrity Infatuation Britney Spears. For making us all want to hit her, baby, one more time. What that means to you is contextual. You sicko. |
I Fear The Greeks
Even When They Bring Gifts
I am having severe trouble coming up with a topic for my re-emergence into my blogging on this site. It’s rather like something has seized my brain and isn’t letting go as of yet. The result is that I’ve began and re-began (yes I know it’s not a word, but… shut up!) this entry about 5 times now. Now it’s humour or bust. It’s been many a moon since my last entry and I'm out of practice. Actually I haven’t felt the literary tickle in a while so it might take me a while to get back into the rhythm. This may be an issue since I, being painfully white in the see-through sort of way, have rhythm in the sense of Pamela Anderson has potential to become a university level mathematics professor. I do what you call the ‘safety dance’ which entails standing along a wall at a dance club and moving as little as possible. So it may be a poor attempt at a weblog, therefore I’ll ease myself into it. Another reason for my absence is that I’ve been juggling several jobs, job opportunities, job offers, etc. and trying to keep some semblance of a social life working for me. I guess I forgot about this poor widdle site and left after only about 6 entries. Alas, I’m still stuck at my security job, plugging away at doing nothing, trying not to murder those who stumble into my path. After one has dealt with the public on so many a tragic circumstance, you come to realize that the average person has the social aptitude of a carp. A dead carp. A dead carp that your dog has just rolled in and which I find myself enjoying the company of more than said average person. Thus, without further ado about painful, devastating nothingness, here are: RULES TO REMEMBER WHEN DEALING WITH YOUR AVERAGE UNDERPAID SERVICE SECTOR EMPLOYEE: (1) The rules DO apply to you. You are not a unique and special snowflake in my mind. You are another slack jawed, drooling yokel with the same brutish, demanding, surly attitude reminiscent in 80% of the other people I will try not to kill today. I have no reason to want to give you special treatment over all the other evolutionary throwbacks that walk through my door today. This is the public service sector. Not the [insert your name here] service sector. (2) You are a dirty, dirty person. We have people to maintain the cleanliness and tidiness of the property. They are not here to specifically clean up the toxic cloud of crap that you leave behind. This includes your offspring. Keep them quiet. If there are any misconceptions, see rule #1. (3) You are lying scum. We watch and interact with people all day, every day. We have heard every excuse, fib, lie, exaggeration, story, special circumstance, fabrication, “I know so-and-so who works here”, and scheme. We do not care. We have advanced bullshit-detection skills. We do not believe you. (4) I know how things work here better than your friend. Just because your neighbour said something about what you can get done here or how things work here doesn’t make it gospel. We are not required to perform an unsupported service just because you “heard it somewhere”. He is wrong. I am right. (5) I did not make the rules specifically to piss you off. I just enjoy telling you about them to piss you off. Do not tell me how much a policy/practice/rule is stupid. I already know because all day I have to deal with people like you complaining about it. I am the one it really inconveniences because I am expected to try to work around it and still make your grumpy uncompromising ass happy. Don't like it? Yes, you could see the manager, but he's gone home early for the day. (6) You are not the only person who wants something today. At any given time there are probably about 10 other people who want something from me. Recognize that others have somewhere to be today and they don’t all want to be stuck behind your whiny ass. You’re all on the same level of importance as microbial parasites to me, but I’m just trying to keep down the bloodshed. (7) Policy is a matter of what our bosses tell us it is. I am not the manager, a board member or the decision maker/pistol whipper. I do not make the rules. The managers in charge of service institutions don’t like the public. After all, would you want to talk to you? That’s why the service sector was created. - Porkchop
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